I sat here yesterday all day with this blog post open....
I wrote then deleted, wrote then deleted, wrote more then deleted again.... I was at a loss on what exactly i wanted to say... So i wrote nothing.... and after thinking about it today, I have decided to just share a couple pictures with you....
Our family zoo trip for Chase's Birthday... and my 32 week preg belly. |
But then there are days where I often sit and wonder if i will survive... Why does it hurt so much. Why the death of a loved one is so difficult to deal with. Especially the death of your child. Why it affects every part of you. Why it changes you.
Chase was only 2 days old when he died...
We had fun watching the animals...
And on the Sunday we went to visit his grave...
We're really lucky in the fact that 30 years ago my grandpa purchased a whole section of plots together. Chase is buried next to my grandma and grandpa and uncle Jordy. Its a section in the cemetery that we can plant plants in and tend to it instead of just a little plot all on his own... It was nice to go this year and have the Tibouchina tree that I planted for his birthday last year flowering and thriving...
Chase's Grave... Hopefully over these coming weeks i can work up the courage to call and organise his headstone. This has been one of the most difficult things for me... |